Anonymous Summer Associate Program

From the official FAQ: 9. As a summer associate, is there someone I can talk to about problems? Yeah, your parents, your friends, and your plants. You mean a mentor? We don’t do that. Lawyers work alone. It’s a solitary profession. Needing a crutch is a sign of weakness. You have to walk on your own. You have a problem? Deal with it. 10. That sounds harsh. I asked a similar question when I interviewed and you said the firm provides all summer associates with a mentor. What happened? We lied. We do that sometimes. It helps us get people to work for us. You’ll get used to it. 11. Apart from assignments, how do summer associates learn about the firm and its practice groups? What does this question even mean? Which law firm website did you steal it from? This is a stupid question. You learn about the firm and its practice groups by being in the office and noticing what’s going on around you. And from your assignments. That’s the whole point of the assignments. Why would you ask how else you learn about the practice groups apart from through your assignments? It’s like asking how you eat besides when you put food in your mouth. You don’t. It’s a stupid question. Okay, okay, there’s sort of an answer, I guess. We have some departmental presentations, but they’re boring. Also a filmstrip about the history of the firm and a retreat to Guantanamo where we’ll really show you what we’re all about. You’ll enjoy it. It’s a blast. 12. What resour…